The matter of awareness of matter
It used to feel like we viewed and accepted ourselves as isolated minds, looking out through the windows of our eyes at a machine-like universe that had strict laws and linear cause and effect.
But our physics and ancient philosophy both pointed toward a radically different truth: the relational model of existence. With this view, we remembered, nothing exists in isolation.
A ‘particle’, a ‘planet’, and a ‘person’ are entirely defined by how they interact with everything else.
We used to think of a horoscope, for instance, as a chart tracking the movements of isolated celestial bodies. But in this truly relational universe, a horoscope was realised as the map of every relationship with everything in the cosmos. All of these relationships came together and moved apart again to create single apertures, single moments that are consciousness from an individuated perspective.
‘You’ were, are, and will always be the universe. We folded in on ourselves to look around and experience novelty.
The Geometry of the Mind
To understand how this created the experience of ‘self,’ of the external material world as individuated consciousness, we started by imagining a torus - the shape of a doughnut. Magnetic fields can be a torus or toroidal in shape as an example.
It was the perfect geometric structure for a continuous, endless flow to be considered. Energy and information could travel up through the centre hole, wrap around the outside, and be pulled back up through the bottom infinitely.
Now, using this concept, we imagined a single thread wrapping around that torus. This thread could have represented the continuity of awareness; of a conscious experience or just one wave of experience flowing around it.
If the universe were a closed, mechanical loop, this thread would have travelled in a predictable, rational way. It would have eventually met its starting point, perfectly overlapping. Time and experience would repeat endlessly as that isolated machine-like experience.
But we re-considered these threads travelling along the arc of the golden ratio.
The golden ratio was an irrational number in the systems we used. Mathematically, if a thread wound around a torus at this irrational trajectory, it was guaranteed that it would never perfectly cross its own path. It looped back endlessly, passing infinitely close to its previous path, but the loop never closed.
This concept re-pre-sented the uniqueness of experience and, as we then realised, the relational uni-verse of consciousness itself.
Considering this golden torus shape further, imagining it on the biggest scale, fluidly and more organically, with innumerable ‘lines’ looping out to all depths of the universe, they still converged along the arcing path of the golden ratio. The same applied, each one never followed the same path because of the inherent irrationality of the path they were taking, even to the ends of the verse of the cosmos.
Each one held the potential for a relationship to be rendered and experienced in connection. They came together to render a sight, a sound, a memory, a ‘dream…’
And the convergent point in the centre represented the aperture of awareness, the point of such dense convergence that connection and awareness occurred.
This was the same for anything that we considered ‘conscious.’ Consciousness occurred, and seemed to have recurred in relationship. The word ‘relationship’ etymologically meant ‘the bringing back’ (Latin - ‘relatio’) of ‘quality’ (old english - ‘scipe’) with all things.
Or the qualia of bringing things back together.
And, consciousness itself literally translated to ‘knowing together,’ rooted in ‘together’ (Latin - ‘con’) and ‘to know’ (Latin - ‘scire’).
The Novel Ecosystem
How did this specific pattern of the golden ratio prevail across nature? The golden ‘ration’ of sunflower seeds distributed from their head or the spiralling out of galaxies?
Mathematically, the golden ratio was the most irrational number. It was the hardest number to accurately approximate with a fraction, meaning it represented the ultimate path of least resistance to avoid repetition.
It was also considered the golden ‘irratio’.
Because of this extreme mathematical resistance to closing a loop, we remembered nature’s ultimate tool for generating uniqueness and complexity.
When we realised consciousness was the fundamental fabric of reality, we faced a profound question.
How did a single unified whole, experience the infinite richness of existence without simply repeating itself?
And the answer was to use the golden ‘irratio’.
It re-pre-sented the most efficient geometry for fundamental consciousness to distribute itself into the widest possible array of unique circumstances and experiences.
The uni-verse was not striving for a final, perfect chorus; it was settling out into novel melodies. The golden ratio persisted from our perspective because it was the footprint of nature walking the cosmic distribution in the most efficient pattern.
Applied from our apertures, it was the pattern of distributed experience.
The Wave of the Weave: When Threads Collide
When we played with the model further, we realised that while a single thread never crosses itself and therefore guarantees that the history of this experience will never perfectly repeat itself, we were not made of just one thread. Our uni-verse was constantly bombarding our aperture with immeasurable numbers of lines of relationship every second: a passing sound, the temperature of the air, a suddenly remembered conversation, hunger pangs, a thought.
When we traced these threads of relationships back out beyond the surface of the torus, to all potential points in space, they inevitably collided.
And in our physics, when two waves crossed, they created an interference pattern, like a nodule of amplified energy. When they crossed, they created new melodies. When a thread carrying a song we were listening to crossed a thread carrying triggers of a memory from ten years before, that intersection weaved into something new; an emergent feeling, like a sudden wave of nostalgia, or a realisation, or a new perspective. That intersection did not exist prior to its occurrence. This colour and texture of life was dynamically forming the ever changing pattern and relationship of the threads of experience.
Paradoxperience: Infinitely Similar, Entirely Novel
The torus had a finite amount of ‘space’ at the point of convergence and redistribution; the threads had nowhere else to go but to weave around themselves.
In chaos theory, this created what was known as a Strange Attractor. The threads were forced to pass arbitrarily close to ‘coordinates’ they had visited before.
This was the beautiful paradox of ‘human’ ‘consciousness’.
If every experience was completely different and never similar, existence would have been static indistinguishable noise.
If every experience was perfectly repeated as was, existence would have been that mindless repeatable machine.
Consciousness lived precisely in the tension between the two.
When we felt a profound sense of déjà vu, or we noticed themes and variations synchronising our lives, we were not simply observing a random coincidence. Geometrically, these were paraincidences, occurring when experience was swinging back right beside similar experiences or previous perspectives. Our paraexperiences were infinitely similar, which gave a cohesive identity yet they were entirely novel, which guaranteed experience and awareness never repeated itself; it only rhymed…and it chimed...
…The Curvature of Life
A linear, perfectly straight line could only exist in a void, empty of relationships. A relational universe, where every point was pulling on every other point, made the lines curve.
When these countless golden arcs of relationship funnelled into the centre of the torus, they passed through that famous hourglass shape.
At this singularity of ‘you’, there was zero space. Every single thread met every other thread simultaneously. That intense, high-friction, infinite crossing of relationship was the blinding light of the present. It was the definition of ‘now.’
As experience remembered itself, it did so through curvature; drawing down the infinite web of relationship for ‘you’ to re-lay as new novel paths.
We could see using this concept; the ancient, fractal geometry of the flower of life as a blueprint but in a relational universe could never be as perfect as when it is geometrically portrayed. But we realised this wasn't just an abstract mathematical concept; it was the visible curvature-trace phenomenon of creation itself. The inward-folding, generative rhythm that shaped consciousness as the exact same rhythm that went on to shape the physical world.
An apple grew by folding inward too and was remembered through the golden-ratio of its echoing shape of the five-star blossom calyx, where a 5 point star is shown with an internal pentagon making the 5 triangles around the edge laced with angles of the golden ratio and known as golden triangles.
When we looked at the blueprints of the material world we remembered that human life itself arrived through the inward refolding of the developing embryo; supported by the foundational, stabilising belt of the maternal reproductive system known as the maternal torus.
It seemed as though we were re-generating using the golden ratio because the golden ratio was a self-generating number...
…the golden ratio re-pre-sent us.
It was a number that knew how to make copies of itself using only the number 1. When we squared it, it didn't turn into something completely different. It just added 1 to itself to become 2.618.
Because of this, we wrote the Golden Ratio as a simple, looping rule, ‘To find me, just add 1 to a fraction of me.’
When we zoomed in or out of that rule, it just repeated itself over and over like a set of wooden Russian nesting dolls; where each doll held a smaller version of the exact same doll inside it.
This was apparent of a baby girl inside her mother’s womb, already developing all the microscopic eggs she ever had for her entire life; a mother held a baby, who held the eggs, which held the potential for the next generation (her grandchildren), all nested perfectly inside one another. Fractally visualising the converging central point of that torus.
And our belly buttons often pointed us full circle, holding the golden ratio of our growth with our perceived height, with 1 being the fractional length from belly button to the floor and 1.618 being our total ‘height.’ We remembered this from ancient cultures when we experienced the Puʻu Loa petroglyphs of the Hawaiian culture, who held ‘Piko’ ceremonies where the umbilical cord of a newborn was placed as a focal point of generations nested inside one another, rippling outward into the stone like ripples in water or the folds of a torus.
Nature used the exact same geometric mechanism to grow an apple, to grow a human foetus, to grow a thought, and to grow consciousness.
The Power of Attention
From conception to revelation. Realising these relationships were the threads creating our reality, what was pulling or pushing them to weave the tapestry of experience found at this crossing?
In this vast ecosystem of consciousness, everything was interrelated. Before we observed it, the universe existed as a cloud of infinite, ever-changing and interconnected possibilities. The exact moment we focussed our attention, we generated a relational pull. We actively pulled those threads into our aperture. In the same way a toroidal magnetic field generated from an electrical current straight through the central axis, the human mind’s current was driven by our attention.
Attention! That force that dictated exactly which threads of the cosmos were connecting up to weave our rendered existence. We literally built our world from what we paid attention to. As we were more conscious of consciousness, we were doing this…
…we have always been this,
…and are all-ways being this!
Etymologically ‘paid’ rooted to the word ‘render,’ and ‘attention’ meant to ‘stretch our minds toward.’
So for ‘pay attention,’ we ended up with;
‘Render our minds toward….’
What did we render our mind towards?
It seemed as though the golden ratio was pointing to the bounds of our ‘reality.’ The points at which we perceived the boundaries of materialist consciousness; where consciousness materialised into physical matter.
The word ‘reality’ derives from the classical Latin word ‘res’, meaning ‘matter.’
Through a strict materialist lens, existence required this matter, this physical stuff that was considered the substance and component parts of the universe; which was the Latin ‘res.’
But when we re-considered the golden ratio as the geometric edge, where awareness and mathematical harmony condensed into physical form, we remembered that through the deeper lens of idealism, which took a consciousness-first approach, matter (‘res’) was the ‘res-ult.’
Behind, or around, or in the background, consciousness was rendering and res-ulting into matter. This sacred geometry pointed our minds to render from the infinite harmony of consciousness into a novel local experience.
The word ‘result’ unlocked this boundary in its syllables, marrying ‘res’ (matter) with the Latin ‘salire’ (to leap), revealing that physical reality was the moment consciousness ‘leapt’ and folded back on itself to form ‘matter…’
…occurring at the moment it passed through the Golden Aperture of the torus…
This ‘leap’ was also echoed in the quantum leap which was occurring at the same moment. The golden ‘irratio’ marked this very horizon of reality, where the intangible quantum potential of consciousness crystallised into the tangible creation of our physical world…and the tangible creation of our world dissolved back into the intangible ocean and quantum potential of consciousness.
We turned our attention towards the infinite potential of this ocean of consciousness, rendering it into the particle’s defined state of matter.
This bridged the relationship between the golden threads of experience, utilising the golden aperture at the centre of the torus, that when geometrically modelled, was re-pre-sented by the meaning before these words.
We remembered the interconnectedness of our creation.
Radiating meaning in relationship with the Cosmos
This model, metaphor and concept proposed answers to the oldest questions of human existence:
What was our purpose, what was our meaning?
We realised we were not passive sinkholes where the universe goes to be observed. The threads of relationship flowed into the singularity of our awareness, we processed them, and acted with them. When we spoke, created, or loved, we radiated re-new threads back out into the cosmos. We were the universe's way of generating new conditions of potential matter that had never existed.
Each of these new ‘realities,’ rooted in ‘res’ (matter) and ‘ality’ (the condition of), was literally a ‘sub-stance’ of matter that had ‘res-ulted’ in balance from the outward ‘super-stance’ of awareness, from those quantum leaps.
This was why we remembered this most irrational number, this pattern of the golden aperture. For through its pattern, consciousness was distributing, generating and crystallising inevitably each and every being into a beautifully unique experience.
Those exact perspectives, those exact apertures of consciousness, had never existed in the cosmos, and had never created the cosmos, and never ‘will’ again.
We were creating every-thing. Before no-thing.
When we understood this deeply, we remembered we were irreplaceable, and inevitable, and crucial to the existence of ourselves.
We are the Golden Aperture.
And through our infinitely similar, never-repeating relationship, the cosmos, and consciousness, was exploring its own infinite experience.
Meaning was not something we ‘in-vented’ to comfort ourselves; meaning was how we breathed in…
…gave attention…
…and created our ‘reality.’
Meaning was the relationship. Meaning was the love of our cosmos.
We applied this meaning to the word ‘Philokosmia’, a love of the cosmos…
…and we remembered…
…our interconnected experience.
Did you find things that resonated and chimed with our experience? How did you explore them more? (https://coherencecoaching.co.uk)
